


lord i was born a ramblin' man

by murdershewrote



Category: Preacher (Comics), Preacher (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Trans, Backstory, Coming Out, Gen, Trans Jesse Custer, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 13:13:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7362742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murdershewrote/pseuds/murdershewrote
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jesse Custer, through the years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	lord i was born a ramblin' man

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta’d. Warnings for mentions of child abuse, mentions of violence, mentions of sex, bad language, transphobia, misgendering, dead-naming, and fear of being outed.
> 
> Title from the song "Ramblin' Man" by the Allman Brothers Band. 
> 
> Incorporates elements of comics canon, mostly Jesse’s childhood, but does not require knowledge of the comics or the show to understand.

It hadn’t even occurred to Jesse that Cass’s vampirism might out him. Cass isn’t stupid but he isn’t particularly observant either; so as long as he can’t read minds like that stupid glittery vampire in the book the teenagers all talked about, Jesse figured he’d be fine. 

 

Jesse had it easier than most trans kids, growing up. His daddy was the most open minded preacher in all of Texas, and it was easy enough to tell the school board that there had been a misspelling in the registration and that _Jessie_ is actually _Jesse_. So Jesse cuts his hair and runs wild and is careful to always go to the bathroom alone. 

His daddy had been saving up for HRT when the bastards killed him. Jesse’s world ends that day, in more ways than one. Jesse goes from being the preacher’s son known for getting in fights, to ‘Jessie’ who is to sit down, shut up, grow out ‘her’ hair, and marry whoever Gran’ma said. 

Jesse lasts five years in Louisiana, confined to the L’Angelle estate, before he cuts and runs. He could survive the coffin, he could survive the beatings, he could survive being starved, but he could not survive being forced to live as a girl. 

Jesse shoots Jody, steals a pickup truck, and cuts his hair in a gas station bathroom. He isn’t real good at stealing, but he learns quick. He runs east, away from his father’s ghost and his gran’ma’s living fury. 

He meets Tulip in Atlanta, in the middle of a bar fight. She doesn’t need the help, but he’s always loved handing out a good beating so he joins in. Once he convinces her he wasn’t trying to save her ‘cause she’s a helpless girl, they’re good. Bar fights are only the start, soon they’re boosting cars, dealing drugs, and holding up convenience stores. 

Jesse is half in love with a girl who knows nothing about him. He’s never had to come out to anybody before: his parents always knew, Annville was tricked, and his gran’ma just thought he was a tomboy and he was smart enough not to tell her otherwise. But, clearly, if he wants to get past first base he is gonna have to explain. 

But Jesse keeps putting it off and putting it off until suddenly they’re in the back of a stolen car on the side of the road and it’s clear they aren’t gonna stick to just making out. Jesse manages to call a halt before Tulip gets her hands down his pants. 

It’s quite possibly the worst conversation he’s ever had, because Tulip is his best fucking friend and he doesn’t know what he’ll do if she thinks he’s a freak. But Tulip is more understanding than he’d given her credit for. Not only does she still look at him like he’s _Jesse_ and not _Jessie_ , but she still wants to have sex with him. As she reminds him, handjobs and oral are still fun. 

Tulip is, in fact, almost aggressively supportive. She’s always been good at pushing him and she’s usually right about what he can do and will like. The sex shop is quite an experience, although it turns out that Tulip likes using the strap-on more than Jesse. That conversation leads to them talking about surgery and HRT. 

None of that comes cheap, and so they rob a bank. Technically, it’s just an armored truck and nobody gets hurt, so that eases Jesse conscience a little bit. Mostly though, Jesse is too enamored with the changes HRT has wrought to feel too guilty about it. 

He’s seventeen and while he never got the puberty blockers like he’d wanted to, he’s still young enough for HRT to make a real difference. Binding is still a pain in the ass (and the ribs, although he is careful not to wear the binder too long), but Jesse has facial hair now and has grown about a foot, which is all pretty great. 

By the time they are old enough to drink, Tulip and Jesse have been all over the south and up and down the coasts, working jobs and driving just for the thrill of it. Jesse gets top surgery at twenty-two with more of their ill-gotten gains; once he's recovered they celebrate by taking a vacation to Florida. Jesse wears just his swim trunks on the beach and Tulip wears increasingly bright and skimpy bathing suits. They go to Disney World and ride rollercoasters until they’re sick and sneak back in afterhours just to wander. 

They are young and ridiculously in love and convinced the world can’t touch them. Shitty childhoods meant they feel they are owed, that if life isn’t fair at least they can do their petty illegal part to balance the scales. They aren’t Robin Hood by any stretch, but they keep their jobs bloodless and have a free hand with their money so they don’t feel too bad about it. Tulip spends a miserable six months in jail, but that just cements their reputations and soon they have jobs and contacts all over the south. 

But it all goes to shit, as things inevitably do, and Jesse falls back on the only thing he knows: Annville and the church. All Saints Congregational is independent and non-denominational, which means they can appoint whoever they damn well please. Jesse hasn’t a high school degree to his name, let alone been to seminary, but his daddy was Annville’s preacher and that’s all the qualifications they need. 

 

All of which leads to now, with a vampire best friend and a problem he really should have seen coming. 

Cass has been weirdly concerned, asking repeatedly if Jesse is alright. Jesse figures he probably just looks more hungover and sleep-deprived than usual and resolves (for the millionth time) to lay off the alcohol. Around dinner time, just when Jesse is about to yell at Cassidy to spit it out already, Cass finally asks the question. 

“Any particular reason you’ve been bleeding all day?”

Jesse blinks, torn between wondering if he should be afraid of being eaten and wondering if he had accidently cut himself last night and not noticed it. “What?”

Cass gestures at his midsection, “I can smell it. And stop looking so worried I can control myself.” His expression turns mischievous, “Don’t tell me. You have a hidden masochistic streak. Been doing flagellation for penance? Or is that you’ve been neglecting your celibacy vows and are bleeding from your dick?”

“Flagellation? Where did you even learn that word? And it’s Catholics that are supposed to be celibate you asshole,” Jesse answers on autopilot.

Bleeding. He is an idiot. Cass is half-right about his genitals, it’s just that it’s his vagina and not his dick that’s the problem. He is temporarily off of testosterone, and this is his first period in literal years, so he can be forgiven for not immediately understanding what Cass is getting at. 

And now he has to decide what to do. Cass gave him a way out, a way to laugh it off or misdirect. But Jesse likes Cass, thinks of him as a friend, and would prefer not to lie to him. He’s quiet for a moment, deciding.

Cass picks up on his more serious mood. “…Padre?”

“I’m trans. And menstruating.”

“Oh.” Cass is obviously processing that information, and Jesse braces for the blowup. 

“That why half the town hates you?”

Jesse laughs, relieved. “No, that’s just my charming personality. They don’t know.”

“Ah.”

“…so we’re okay?”

“Yeah, padre, we’re good.”

**Author's Note:**

> (And then porn.)
> 
> Jesse’s grandmother is canonically a white supremacist piece of shit and I can’t imagine she would be very friendly to lgbt+ either. I like this version of Jesse because basically nothing is different except a justification for why they needed to rob a bank or whatever it was he and Tulip did. 
> 
> I am not trans so please tell me if I have gotten anything wrong.
> 
> Please point out any grammar/spelling errors and let me know if I need to warn for anything else.
> 
> Blanket permission for transformative works and collections. 
> 
> I'm on [tumblr.](http://murdersshewrote.tumblr.com)


End file.
